McAlester News-Capital, McAlester, OK

Features

December 5, 2012

When revealing HIV status turns deadly

Cicely Bolden, 28, was a mother, a twin sister, a daughter and a friend to many in Dallas.

"She was born one minute after me, so I grew up protecting her. We had this bond. Her life was my life," her twin, Chelsea Bolden, told The Root. "My sister wasn't perfect -- she liked the drama -- but she was a good person and a really good mother."

Cicely Bolden also happened to be HIV-positive, diagnosed almost two years ago. But her life didn't end because of health issues related to AIDS. On Sept. 6, her married boyfriend, Larry Dunn Jr., stabbed her to death, claiming that she had sex with him and didn't disclose her HIV status until after they were finished. Her two children, ages 7 and 8, discovered her body lying on her bedroom floor.

In a recorded police interview, Dunn stated that her alleged deception made him so angry that he ran into the kitchen, grabbed a knife and stabbed her. Dunn, who is currently being held on $500,000 bond, told detectives, "She killed me, so I killed her."

Sadly, no doubt many of you are thinking -- thanks to some salacious headlines and the brutal debate being waged online -- either Bolden deserved it or, while you don't condone what Dunn did, you understand. But before we rush to judgment and blame the victim, let's fill in some gaps that haven't been addressed.

First, having sex with someone HIV-positive doesn't automatically mean that you will contract HIV or die, as Dunn suggested, especially if you use condoms and if the HIV-positive person's virus is suppressed by medication. Second, how do we really know that Bolden waited to disclose?

Bolden's sister told The Root that Bolden was up-front about her status and that she wasn't ashamed of it -- even her children knew. And while it may be hard for folks to wrap their heads around it, there are plenty of HIV-negative men who knowingly and willingly have sex with HIV-positive women.

Text Only | Photo Reprints
Features
Seasonal Content
AP Video
Raw: Fight Breaks Out in Ukraine Parliament Bodies of Malaysia Jet Victims Leave Ukraine Disabled Veterans Memorial Nearing Completion Last Mass Lynching in U.S. Remains Unsolved Home-sharing Programs Help Seniors Ex-NYC Mayor: US Should Allow Flights to Israel Clinton: "AIDS-Free Generation Within Our Reach" Judge Ponders Overturning Colo. Gay Marriage Ban Airlines Halt Travel to Israel Amid Violence NYPD Chief Calls for 'use of Force' Retraining VA Nominee McDonald Goes Before Congress Bush: Don't Worry, Sugarland Isn't Breaking Up US Official: Most Migrant Children to Be Removed Police Probing Brooklyn Bridge Flag Switch CDC Head Concerned About a Post-antibiotic Era Raw: First Lady Says `Drink Up' More Water Courts Conflicted Over Healthcare Law Holder Urges Bipartisanship on Immigration Raw: Truck, Train Crash Leads to Fireball US Airlines Cancel Israel Flights
NDN Video
CDC Director Warns Of A World Where Antibiotics No Longer Work Whoa! Watch "Housewives" Star Do the Unthinkable Raw: Fight Breaks Out in Ukraine Parliament Chapter Two: Becoming a first-time director Chris Pratt Interrupts Interview To French Braid Intern's Hair Shirtless Super Mario Balotelli Dances While Ironing - @TheBuzzeronFOX LeBron apologizes to neighbors with cupcakes Justin Bieber In Calvin Klein Underwear Shoot Samsung Pre-Trolls The IPhone 6 With New Ad Jimmy Kimmel Introduces His Baby Girl Swim Daily, Nina Agdal in the Cook Islands Guilty Dog Apologizes to Baby for Stealing Her Toy Prince George Turns 1 and is Already a Trendsetter Train Collides With Semi Truck Carrying Lighter Fluid Kanye West Tells-All on Wedding in "GQ" Interview Tony Dungy Weighs in on Michael Sam Scarlett Johansson Set To Marry In August New Star Wars Episode XII X-Wing Revealed Obama: Putin must push separatists to aid MH17 probe Michigan inmates no longer allowed to wear orange due to 'OITNB'
Parade
Magazine

Click HERE to read all your Parade favorites including Hollywood Wire, Celebrity interviews and photo galleries, Food recipes and cooking tips, Games and lots more.