McAlester News-Capital, McAlester, OK

Community News Network

November 7, 2013

Asking the Internet 'Am I ugly?'

LOS ANGELES — Last month, the Internet collectively frowned over a depressing new genre of viral video: Teen-age girls taking to YouTube to ask anonymous strangers, "Am I Pretty or Ugly?" The good/bad news is that this plugged-in permutation of adolescent insecurity isn't just a girl thing.

Boys air their body issues elsewhere online - like on the Reddit forum "Am I Ugly?," where users submit their ages, photos and feelings about their looks, then invite strangers to answer the central question. This week, a 16-year old boy posted a bathroom selfie and said, "be honest even if it's not nice." Five other users weighed in. "Not ugly, but not particularly hot either," one wrote. "A good personality will always be the deciding factor, but more so than usual with you." Wrote another, "Looking tired or unhealthy isn't very attractive. Try working on your habits, or see if there's some face lotion that works well to make your skin a little bit more radiant." Said a third, "You need longer hair."

The short-haired boy with the sparkling personality isn't self-flagellating alone. The mental health resource site PsychGuides.com recently analyzed 1,000 postings on the subreddit and found that 79 percent of posters asking for feedback on their appearance are men. Their average age is 19. On a similar subreddit, "Am I Sexy?," men file 62 percent of submissions. And the responses to their posts are gendered, too.

In the 14 hours since one girl posted a suite of images of herself dating back to 2009 under the title "I know I've changed since then but i'm still insecure," she's received 45 replies. Some are pointed at allaying her insecurities: "Be more confident, you're cute." Others are pointed in another direction: "You lost the weight but kept the boobs. That's a good result." She's received come-ons from insecure guys ("If I knew you, I'd be spending the weekend moping after you reject my approach") and perhaps overly secure ones ("Would deffo smash"). Other posters urge her to rate herself against other women: "You should relax, you've made it into the hot girl club." The consensus is "not ugly," but the subtext is less encouraging - a crew of strangers calling out her parts, guiding her to assess her body based on how men see it, and establishing an expectation to compete with other women to keep boys looking.

Meanwhile, the general feedback on one 16-year-old boy's plea for help today ("somedays I feel like I look OK but other days I feel so very ugly") is "you look fine and a little stoned" and "you look hella baked." The takeaway is that if you're a boy, strangers on the Internet don't care all that much if you look ugly or not, even when you ask. (This is probably why women who post on "Am I Ugly?" receive an average of 54 replies, while men receive an average of 14. Of the 100 threads with the least user replies analyzed by PsychGuides, 99 were started by men.) That ostensibly frees boys from the constant physical surveillance that teen girls encounter online and off. But it doesn't address the problem these boys are really trying to articulate when they load up their selfies and ask others to take a look - they feel ugly, an issue that many of them say stems from the fact that few people seem to look at them at all. Public self-esteem campaigns, targeted largely at girls, don't seem to notice boys much, either.

Scrolling through "Am I Ugly?," PsychGuides says, sends the message that body image insecurity is a universal concern. But it expresses itself differently among girls and boys - and it's time we stop overlooking that.

 

1
Text Only | Photo Reprints
Community News Network
  • Doctors to rate cost effectiveness of expensive cancer drugs

    The world's largest organization of cancer doctors plans to rate the cost effectiveness of expensive oncology drugs, and will urge physicians to use the ratings to discuss the costs with their patients.

    April 16, 2014

  • Screen Shot 2014-04-16 at 12.51.22 PM.png VIDEO: Toddler climbs into vending machine

    A child is safe after climbing into and getting stuck inside a claw crane machine at a Lincoln, Neb., bowling alley Monday.

    April 16, 2014 1 Photo

  • Victimized by the 'marriage penalty'

    In a few short months, I'll pass the milestone that every little girl dreams of: the day she swears - before family and God, in sickness and in health, all in the name of love - that she's willing to pay a much higher tax rate.

    April 15, 2014

  • Allergies are the real midlife crisis

    One of the biggest mysteries is why the disease comes and goes, and then comes and goes again. People tend to experience intense allergies between the ages of 5 and 16, then get a couple of decades off before the symptoms return in the 30s, only to diminish around retirement age.

    April 15, 2014

  • bomb1 VIDEO: A year after marathon bombing, Boston remains strong

    The City of Boston came together Tuesday to honor those who were injured and lost their lives at the Boston Marathon on the one-year anniversary of the bombing. While the day was sure to be emotional, those affected by last year's race are showing they won't let the tragedy keep them down.

    April 15, 2014 1 Photo

  • Google acquires drone maker Titan Aerospace to spread Internet

    Google is adding drones to its fleets of robots and driverless cars.
    The Internet search company said it acquired Titan Aerospace, the maker of high-altitude, solar-powered satellites that provides customer access to data services around the world. Terms of the deal weren't disclosed.

    April 14, 2014

  • E-Cigarettes target youth with festivals, lawmakers say

    The findings, in a survey released Monday by members of Congress, should prod U.S. regulators to curb the industry, the lawmakers said. While e-cigarettes currently are unregulated, the Food and Drug Administration is working on a plan that would extend its tobacco oversight to the products.

    April 14, 2014

  • Search teams will send unmanned sub to look for missing Malaysian airliner

    Teams searching for a missing Malaysian airliner are planning for the first time to send an unmanned submarine into the depths of the Indian Ocean to look for wreckage, an Australian official leading the multi-nation search said Monday.

    April 14, 2014

  • Why Facebook is getting into the banking game

    Who would want to use Facebook as a bank? That's the question that immediately arises from news that the social network intends to get into the electronic money business.

    April 14, 2014

  • Screen shot 2014-04-11 at 4.49.09 PM.png Train, entertain your pets with these 3 smartphone apps

    While they may not have thumbs to use the phone, pets can benefit from smartphone apps designed specifically for them.

    April 11, 2014 1 Photo

Seasonal Content
AP Video
Disbanding Muslim Surveillance Draws Praise Hundreds Missing After South Korean Ferry Sinks Passengers Abuzz After Plane Hits Swarm of Bees Boston Bomb Scare Defendant Appears in Court Pistorius Trial: Adjourned Until May 5 Diaz Gets Physical for New Comedy Raw: Ferry Sinks Off South Korean Coast Town, Victims Remember Texas Blast Freeze Leaves Florida Panhandle With Dead Trees At Boston Marathon, a Chance to Finally Finish Are School Dress Codes Too Strict? Raw: Fatal Ferry Boat Accident Suspicious Bags Found Near Marathon Finish Line Boston Marks the 1st Anniversary of Bombing NYPD Ends Muslim Surveillance Program 8-year-old Boy Gets His Wish: Fly Like Iron Man Sex Offenders Arrested in Slayings of CA Women India's Transgenders Celebrate Historic Ruling Tributes Mark Boston Bombing Anniversary Raw: Kan. Shooting Suspect Faces Judge
NDN Video
Jenny McCarthy Engaged to "New Kid" Kate and Will Land in Oz Boston Bomb Scare Defendant Appears in Court Bay Area Teen Gets Prom Date With Help From 'Breaking Bad' Star Behind The Tanlines Jersey Strong Part 1 WATCH: Women Fight To Marry Prince Harry! O’Reilly Launches Preemptive Strike Against CBS Pixar Unveils Easter Eggs From its Biggest Movies Baby Sloths Squeak for Their Cuddle Partners in Adorable Video Miley Cyrus Hospitalized After Severe Reaction To Medicine Raw: Ferry Sinks Off South Korean Coast Toddler climbs into vending machine 8-year-old Boy Gets His Wish: Fly Like Iron Man Much-Anticipated 'Gone Girl' Trailer Finally Debuts! (VIDEO) Dog and Toddler Wear Matching Outfits in Adorable Photo Series VP Biden: "World witnesses ordinary citizens doing extraordinary things" It's Official! Michael Strahan Joins "GMA" Blood Moon Time-lapse Actress Lake Bell Goes Topless The Five Weirdest Local Taxes in America
Parade
Magazine

Click HERE to read all your Parade favorites including Hollywood Wire, Celebrity interviews and photo galleries, Food recipes and cooking tips, Games and lots more.